"Reclaiming Your Freedom: The Healing Power of Traveling After a Break Up"

When I tragically and unexpectedly lost my ex-spouse to suicide in 2011, I had already started an unbelievable quest around the world to find healing. I didn't truly start to feel like myself until five years after his death, or so I believed. On my healing journey, I repeatedly observed that I dated poorly and made the same mistakes. Dating emotionally unstable males led me to players, hustlers, and being ghosted, lol! Even though I can now joke about it, my love life at the time was terrible. Being an empathic woman who, according to some, wears her heart on her sleeve led me to situations that could have been avoided. As a completely independent, free-spirited lady, I'm a big believer in giving people the benefit of the doubt but looking back, dating is the worst time to do that.

Over time, I learned that you really need to take the time to thoroughly evaluate a person. For instance, at my employer, we have a performance evaluation review each year, during which we receive grades based on how we performed in a number of areas. This kind of assessment is also necessary, in my opinion, before moving forward in the dating world. To the Liberian lawyer I met in Israel, who whisked me away to the Philippines for a week of sun, fun, and romance, only to mysteriously vanish when I got back to Los Angeles; to the Icelandic guy on my third visit who unexpectedly got a job on a ship (well, he did leave me the keys to his apartment, ha-ha); and, of course, to the Kenyan boyfriend, who left me stranded at the airport after missing my flight and didn't call me until a week later. So, you can see that I've been there and done that, and there are plenty more tales like this one! (I'll produce a follow-up video later).

In retrospect, I experienced great anguish because of these occurrences and because I expended so much emotional and physical energy on people who couldn't care less. Still, I am certain that none discouraged me from seeing the world and living my best life. Sometimes, I criticized myself, wondering how I could have been so gullible. I finally realized that you should laugh at yourself rather than judge yourself. Be aware that you temporarily acted foolishly by being too trusting but that you ultimately learned something. All things considered, and I'll explain why below, I truly believe that traveling after a breakup can help you recover from a broken heart.

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HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX BY TRAVELING IN 5 STEPS

Distraction by Destination

Getting away from home can be a great way to forget about the heartbreak you've recently experienced. You haven't given the other person much thought because you've been too distracted with packing and planning. Whether it's a bustling city or a serene beach, picking a place that excites you can set a positive tone for your trip. I always found solace in the thought that after a breakup, "Guess what, dude, you're at home doing nothing, and imma be on an exotic beach somewhere" I'll mail you a postcard that reads, "Wish you were here" — BUT! (Yes, Virgos are petty). Ha-Ha!

Reflect and Journal

Set aside time for self-reflection. Consider carrying a journal to document your thoughts, emotions, and experiences during your trip. Write about your feelings regarding the breakup, your learning, and how you envision your future. I know that writing down my emotions in a journal provided a welcome reset and deeper insight into who I am, which were crucial in helping me move on.

Connect With Locals and Fellow Travelers

When you travel, you get to interact with people from all walks of life. Socializing and making new friends can boost your mood and open your eyes to the fact that the world is full of fascinating people. It's a sobering reminder that your ex isn't the only person you'll ever have the chance to date. Engage with the people you meet along the way. Strike up conversations with locals, fellow travelers, or even other solo travelers. Sharing stories and experiences can broaden your perspective and remind you of the world's vastness.

Practice Self-Care

Finding a spa was always my go-to! In Spain, I took a day trip to Madrid to relax in an underground Turkish bath, which melted away all my stress. Don't forget to nourish your body with healthy meals, get enough rest, and engage in activities that bring you joy, rejuvenation is always key.

Embrace the Present

Just be here now! ( As Ram Dass would say.) Allow yourself to fully immerse yourself in the present moment. Appreciate the beauty of the destination, soak in the sights and sounds, and savor each experience. By focusing on the present, you shift your attention away from the past and create new memories that are solely yours.

Remember that healing takes time. I realized over the years that travel can be a valuable tool for healing, but it is not a guaranteed solution for everyone. Each individual's healing process is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Travel can temporarily escape the emotions and routine associated with a breakup, allowing you to gain perspective and find solace in new environments. It can help you shift your focus, explore new interests, and meet new people, all of which can contribute to your healing journey. However, it's important to recognize that the healing process is multifaceted and requires time, self-reflection, and emotional work.

I think it's important to treat oneself with kindness, and if that involves taking a trip to recharge your batteries, then so be it; after all, you'll be able to venture out of your comfort zone and learn something new while feeling better about yourself overall. I hope these suggestions are useful for you to mend your heart during your next vacation. They motivated me to keep moving forward when I faced challenges while traveling alone around the world.

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Lastly, my favorite quote from Malcom X expressed it perfectly: "Don't look back, don't cry."

Were you touched by this post? Please let me know if this is the case by leaving a comment.